


Phantom Limb

by coldwatereyes



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 21:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldwatereyes/pseuds/coldwatereyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d lost his arm in the explosion that took his life, but he never missed it much. Too many other things had happened along with that for him to fret over such a small thing. </p>
<p>But Natasha, she was the limb he always missed. Something vital. He never felt whole, he never felt human, when she was away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phantom Limb

There are times when Bucky never wants to leave the bed. It’s a place where nightmares are kept, where memories of war and atrocities done with his own hands are. The minute he closes his eyes it’s like it all becomes clear, unavoidable. Somehow in sleep, his past is inescapable.

But when he wakes (usually with a start), he can look over. Sometimes she wakes, flutters her lashes a bit and smiles weakly before going back to sleep again. Usually she wakes.

But sometimes she simply lies there, breathing, red hair splayed across the pillow. And it’s enough, simply seeing her there.

He knows there were times when she was like him. When her past weighed on her no matter where she was, what she was doing. There were times when nightmares kept her awake. But now she sleeps through the night, she keeps going through the day. He wonders when that will happen for him. If it will.

But tonight Natasha wakes at his stirring, more awake than she usually is. Her green eyes shine in the soft lighting from the open windows. Streetlight and starlight making them glow in the night. He’s always stunned by her beauty, that someone like her could be here. With him. And now is no different. 

A small smile pulls at her lips, her hand soft and warm as it touches his cheek. He sighs, using his cold mettle arm to pull her closer. Sometimes he just needs her, he needs this.

“James…” She murmurs, concerned. 

He stays silent, laying his cheek on the curve of her neck. 

“Rough night?” She asks, her voice is still colored by sleep, thumb stroking his cheekbone. 

He still remains silent, taking comfort in the quiet of the room as a way to escape the loud noises, the pain of his dreams. He had never been good at talking about this sort of stuff anyway, military upbringing building in him a tendency to bury the pain. Keep fighting even when things turned to shit. The memories, the thoughts, they rattled around in his brain all day, but damn if he’d let on about it.

And Natasha never asks. She never pries. And yet, looking into her eyes on nights like these, nights when things somehow manage to be worse than usual, he looks at her and she knows. She knows him, somehow more than anyone else. He’s there, faults and broken bits firmly on display. 

They lie there, bodies entangled, nearly inseparable. She kisses his forehead. 

“Do you really have to leave tomorrow? All that saving the world stuff can be overrated, you know.” He speaks finally, pushing some humor into his voice, breath dancing across her neck. 

She smiles widely, a soft laugh escaping her lips. “Duty calls,” her voice softens, “You know I’ll be back in a few days.”

He grunts in response, mustering a smile. But when she’s gone, even when it’s just a few days, he feels it. When he’s out fighting without her, when he has days off in the loft alone while she has her other duties to attend to, a part of him is missing. He’d lost his arm in the explosion that took his life, but he never missed it much. Too many other things had happened along with that for him to fret over such a small thing. 

But Natasha, she was the limb he always missed. Something vital. He never felt whole, he never felt human, when she was away.

“God I love you.” He breathes, lips moving against her skin. 

She curls her hand in his and they lie there until the sun peaks through the windows. Until morning comes and she must leave again, and all he has is an empty bed, thoughts of the past, and a longing for her.


End file.
